Last Post of January

It has come time for me to realize that I am not an everyday writer. So, I am going to revise my thoughts of journaling. I will attempt to make my entries at least once a week. I will keep thoughts at the end of each day if something of importance that I feel needs blogged and then on Sundays (to my best attempt) I will blog for the whole week.

So, to sum up since my last entry. My family member is still hanging on but does get a little worse every day. Her kidneys and liver shut down a couple of weeks ago so it is only a matter of time. I know it may seem as though I can easily sit here a blog about her passing coming so very soon and it may seem like I don’t care; but I do! I care for her loosing of the rest of the life that she could have had with her kids and her husband. I care for the loss of her seeing her son graduate from high school. I care that she won’t see her granddaughter even turn three. But I was never that close to her, so I won’t feel the loss as her husband and kids will. But enough on that, almost in tears and there will be enough of those soon…

I was talking with a very good friend of mine on the way to pick something up and I think I have a system worked out for my blogging and my personnel journaling and my they never two cross!

As the next month passes I will be going more public with this blog. I hope to be totally public by the end of February. As in at the end of every new post and update will be stated on my FB and Twitter accounts that I’ve made my weekly post and it’s there if you want to read it.

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Dealing with some very unhappy-hard hitting stuff

Sadly I’m off track already on making one entry everyday. I do however feel I can forgive myself as my family has been dealing with news of the real possibility … not possibility … the eminent dealth of a family member. She has been fighting cancer for the last 5 almost 6 years now and on her last check up she was given the news that she had according to her doctors maybe a week up to at most a month to live. 

I’ve been up and down with my emotions since I was told about it. She and I aren’t really close but are in some ways. I was sadly away doing a military career of 20 years which was 20 years of time I might have gotten to know her and for the last 9 years that I’ve been back I’ve been dealing with my own psychological demons, trying to start a 2nd career, getting a Bachlors in Psychology, becoming a cancer server myself and her dealing with her cancer and raising her family. So we just didn’t get to see each other that often but when we did we always got along and had fond words to share between us. We always tried to help each other out when requested…So yes, my emotions have been up and down since I was told the news. I keep thinking that maybe she will be one of those cases where the doctors tell her that she only has xx number of days to live and then she ends up living for another 60 years!!

I have a interview Wednesday January 11, 2017 in the morning for a possible job, so that is weighing on my mind also. 

1st entry of 2017

I will be making a great effort to be journaling everyday this year.
Nothing really to report for the first day of the year. Mom did the sour kraut & pork traditional meal on the first day of the new year. Both my brothers and their families came to join us this year. Travis, Mom, Dad & I were already here to be a part of it.
Did some cleaning and moving stuff around in my bedroom today. A lot of dusting. I hate dusting so I try to do as little of it as possible and so it never gets done.
Still need to clean the fish tank. Uhh, I really dislike cleaning that thing.
Spent Christmas Eve with family here at the house. Went to Josh and Kelly’s for Christmas Day and New Years Eve.

My theme for the New Year is; New Year – New Attatude – New me …

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Loss of personal touch in my interviewing skills…

 I made a statement to my parents earlier this month.  It seems I’m having some push back from the universe. That statement is as follows: I haven’t been to an interview that I didn’t get the job that I was interviewing for. Well, it seems I had cursed myself that day since making that statement. I have been on four interviews, since making that statement and thus far not even gotten a call back from any of them. So I’m thinking I’ve really fucked myself this time.